The Earls in Bremen 1977

Chapter 1: Friday September 23rd, 1977
THE BEGINNING OF A GREAT ADVENTURE

After a mystery tour of East London (turn right here; no, no, left; no - straight on; oh **** - missed the turning) during which everyone was picked up at their front door, the Earlsmobile finally left the City for Sheerness, where our heroes would catch the ferry for the first stage of their journey to Bremen, West Germany. Their mission was simple - to teach Morris Dancing in a school and to shatter the nerves of anyone who came within earshot. In both aspects they were to be eminently successful.

Everything went smoothly until they reached Sheerness. They stopped to eat (fish & chips only - Tandoori had been on the black-list since making its first and only appearance in the van on the previous Tuesday) and then went on to Immigration. There it was the the usual performance. “Passports please”... ”Know the currency regulations?” ... “anyone got over £25 sterling?” etc., etc., blah, blah, blah! Suddenly the officer’s eyes narrowed - he had seen something suspicious. He called out three names.

The three lay cowering in the darkness of the van ... “Shall we make a run for it?” Nobody dared to move. The officer spoke, “You haven't signed your passports. Sign them before you reach the other side, please.”

ARE YOU A FOOTBALL TEAM JA! JA! JA!

Our heroes established ourselves in the most comfortable part of the ship, the bar. All thoughts of dancing were banished by a ninety year old DJ opening up his disco; so they put the time to good use with a drink and a song - every five minutes.

The DJ finally shut up shop at two o'clock in the morning, but the noise increased as a party of drunken Dutch school-kids gave a demonstration of how to spend a night on a boat: with much singing and silly games.